If you find out that your child is fighting in school, there is a lot at stake. Your child could get hurt and could also possibly get kicked out of school. This can put your child behind academically. Under these circumstances, you may want your child to go see a child therapist, such as at Options Family & Behavior Services. However, there are also things you can do at home to help stop your child from fighting in school.
Bring Up the Situation Calmly
After you have heard that your child was fighting at school, you may want to confront him or her immediately. But first, you should allow your child to settle in so your conversation is not too confrontational, which could cause your child to become defensive. After your child has settled in, tell him or her of whom you spoke with regarding the fighting incident. Then, ask your child what happened. Do not try an indirect approach, because this will cause your child not to trust you.
Talk About Alternatives
You will want your child to talk about the situation that lead to the fighting, because you can then start a conversation about alternative ways that your child can handle a situation. For example, if your child hits another child because he or she wants to use the slide at the playground, you could talk about ways to negotiate sharing the slide. You should also ask your child if he or she can think of alternatives to fighting, because children are more likely to use an alternative method that they thought of themselves.
Use Punishments and Rewards
When your child has alternative ways to handle a situation, you can then talk about the specific punishments he or she will face at home if the fighting continues. Also, ask the teacher or principal who contacted you to give you a follow-up report so that you know if your child is no longer fighting. Then, you can reward your child for getting along, which can help reinforce positive behaviors.
Serve as a Positive Role Model
If you avoid fighting with adults yourself, you will serve as a positive role model and reduce the chances that your child will fight with those his or her age. If another adult makes you angry, model the behavior you would like your child to engage in by instead resolving the conflict without aggression. Oftentimes, the best action is to walk away or to try to calmly talk to the other individual and deescalate the situation. Your children are always watching you as an example of how to handle many situations.